Healing After Heartbreak: A Guide to Moving Forward

Rishabh Chakrabarti

·

August 06, 2023

Healing After Heartbreak: A Guide to Moving Forward

I know it’s tough. I know you’re going through a lot.

BUT

I sincerely believe that sharing these points can help someone. I won’t bore anyone with a lot of details about my past and my relationship but you can take my word for it that it was tight (but it also had its ups and downs). I didn’t breakup, she did. She cheated on me and long distance + COVID + family issues were huge factors. Posts and replies on this sub also helped me. A lot of the stuff has been said earlier in some other posts. So TL;DR -

Succint Points

  • No contact and kill the hope (it’s gone, you have to accept it)
  • There’s tradeoffs - maybe they will go on with their life with different issues in a different relationship and maybe you will go on with your life with different issues in a different relationship. The bottom line is there’s always someone out there with a different set of tradeoffs that might interlock better with your criterion
  • Time is not of essence, the moments are. Someone can make you feel the same stuff in 2 months that a person can make you feel in 4 years
  • Forgive them, don’t go into the revenge mindset. Thinking about anything vengeful, thinking about karma and how karma will take its revenge and stuff is also futile. Indifference is the key
  • Don’t be ashamed of therapy - it helps make you feel better (especially if you’ve been cheated on). They will help validate some of the feelings you have and push you to not victimize yourself
  • Having a really good support system - Friends, family, girlfriends anyone who can make you feel better. For me it was mainly my new girlfriend, friends and then family (in descending order of helpfulness)
  • Delete those photos, delete those chats, delete the memories that take you back. Take that bitter pill because it’ll help you a hell lot
  • Take that vacation, seeing the same set of faces can fuck you up. For me, it was taking a trip back to my parents’ place and I met my current gf there
  • Time will heal you and make it better. Shit happens. Shit happens to everyone. You are not alone. Never ever think that
  • Insta reels about breakups and stuff can help, but … eh
  • Learn something new - I learnt bike riding. Helped out a lot. I went on treks. I just said yes to all outings
  • It always helps to understand that there’s worse that could’ve happened. I could’ve been married and then found out that she is a cheater. I’m happy that I failed faster. Thank your lucky stars that it ended. Even if it’s your fault, believe that whatever has happened, has happened for the good
  • Rebound or no rebound doesn’t matter. Don’t start a new relationship with any agenda. Just let it flow and believe that it’ll be different. Don’t go looking for patterns that match with your ex. Let it be fresh - like you’re going through a different journey altogether
  • Don’t try to victimize yourself, don’t get addicted to the sadness. Don’t think that you need to be in mourning for a certain period of time. Your life doesn’t have to be that same old depressing movie. At a certain point, you need to snap out of it and make space for something better

Conclusion

All in all I would say one thing to end this already long post. Try and cope up with it healthily. Try to not let it affect your present. I know it’s a lot of philosophy, it may/may not help you, but I am telling you with complete confidence that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing to be afraid of and you are not alone. Have faith that your future is going to be better. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

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